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The Dick Joke
High art... from a low place.

Just Like My Husband

Created: 09 June 2017
Hits: 1866

Two gals were shopping at the supermarket. The first one grabs a good sized potato in each hand and says, "These remind me of my husband's balls."

Her friend looked impressed and replied, "That big, huh?"

"Nope," was the response, "That dirty."

That Big?

Created: 06 June 2017
Hits: 1963

I don't wanna brag, but my dick is so big, the head has only seen my balls in pictures. Get that ladies?

No Rest For This Piece

Created: 04 June 2017
Hits: 2137

A guy walks into a whorehouse looking for some action. He goes up to the madame and asks,"Hey, can I get a piece from one of your fine ladies?"

"Sorry sir," the madame responds, "but, we're all full." "Aw, please." he begs, "I'm super horny and I really need some poontang!"

The madame thinks for a moment then answers, "Well, there is one girl left but when you go meet her you have to wear this black condom." "Whatever," the guy shrugs and runs upstairs.

A few hours later he comes back down and says, "Wow, that was great. She didn't even make any noise. But why did I have to wear the black condom?"

The madame answered, "Out of respect for the dead."

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Don't Miss These Jokes!

A Night On The Town

After a night of drinking, drugs and wild sex, I woke up to find myself next to a really ugly woman.  

That's when I realized I made it home safely.

Who Wants To Be A Millionaire

My wife and I were watching "Who Wants to Be a Millionaire" while we were in bed. I turned to her and said: 'Do you want to have sex?

"'No!" she answered. Then I said: "Is that your final answer?"

She didn't even look at me this time, and just said: "Yes."

So I said: "Then I'd like to phone a friend."

And that's when the fight started...

Two At Once

I bet my wife she couldn't piss me off and make me happy at the same time.

"No problem" was her reply, "Your dick is a lot bigger than your brother's."

And that's when the fight started...

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