Researchers Have Discovered

Researchers have determined that 99% of all men jerk off in the shower and the other 1% sing.

Do you know what they sing?

I didn't think you did.

You know why you should never drink diet soda during oral sex?

Because that way you'll have two after-tastes to get rid of.

At a party the other night I was asked how I view lesbian relationships.

Apparently "In HD" was not the best answer.

My wife asked me if a certain dress made her butt look too big.

I told her not as much as the dress that she had worn yesterday.

And that's when the fight started...