Vegetable Logic

How's broccoli like anal sex?

If it was forced on you as a kid, you probably won't enjoy it as an adult.

What did the dick say to the balls?

You guys hang around here while I go inside.

Working in the garage this morning my wife barges in nagging about not showing her any respect. She demands I recognize her life has value too.

So I pick her up, give her a big hug and dump her in the recycle bin.

And that's when the fight started...

Nacho comes before a judge. The judge asks: "Why're you here?" Nacho tells him: "I'm accused of starting my Xmas shopping early."

The judge says, "That's not a crime. How early did you start?"

Nacho says, "Before the store opened."