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Vegetable Logic

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How's broccoli like anal sex?

If it was forced on you as a kid, you probably won't enjoy it as an adult.

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Divide and Conquer

1/3 of women not interested in sex. Me too. The 1/3 from the neck up...meh. From the tits down? I'm in.

Can't Try It On First

A guy goes into a drug store to buy some condoms. The girl behind the counter asks, “What size?” He says, “I don’t know.” She hold up one finger and asks, “That big?” He says, “Bigger.” She holds up three fingers and asks, “That big?” He says, “Smaller.” She holds up two fingers and he says, “Yeah, that’s it.”

She sticks the two fingers in her mouth and says, “Medium.”

This One's About Tools

What is the difference between a phillip and a flathead?

Easy! I can't flathead her ass with my dick.