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The Dick Joke
High art... from a low place.

The Morning After Effect

Created: 27 July 2019
Hits: 1977

I took this divorced broad I met in a bar back to my place the other night. The next morning I asked her, "Well, how was I?"

She said, "The truth? I wasn't too happy with the size of your organ."

So I told her, "Yeah? Well I didn't know I was going to be playing in a cathedral."

There's Only One Alternative

Created: 12 July 2019
Hits: 2279

Guy tells his buddy: "I think I've become di-sexual."

Friend asks: "Di-sexual? What the hell is that?"

Guy says: "If I don't get me some pussy pretty soon... I'm gonna kill myself."

Wrap it Up

Created: 31 January 2019
Hits: 1965

A lady goes into a sporting goods store and tells the salesman, "I need a present for my son's birthday."
The salesman suggests, "How about this skateboard?"
She asks, "How much?" He says, "Forty-nine ninety-five." She says, "Too much."
Then he suggests, "How about this baseball bat?" She asks, "How much?" He says, "Eight ninety-five."
She says, "Great, I'll take it."
He then asks, "You wanna ball for the bat?"
She says, "No ... but I'll blow you for the skateboard."

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Don't Miss These Jokes!

Never Mix Sex And Alcohol

I have a a real problem with sex and booze...

Every time I have sex, my girlfriend boos.

How To Get Him In The Mood

For their 10th anniversary, a wife surprises her husband by wearing the lingerie she wore on their wedding night. She asks him what his exact thoughts were 10 years ago when he first saw her in the lingerie.

He tells her, "I wanted to suck your tits dry and fuck your brains out." "Well, what do you think today?" she asks,

He says, "Mission accomplished!"

And that's when the fight started...

Being A Lawyer Isn't So Bad

A lawyer asks his partner, "Are you fucking the new secretary?"

The partner tells him, "No."

So the first lawyer says, "Great! Then you fire her."

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