Dick Jokes

DJoke400X311

The Dick Joke

High art... from a low place.

: Created: 12 April 2016; Hits: 2991

What does tightrope walking and getting a blowjob from an old woman have in common?

You don't look down.

: Created: 11 April 2016; Hits: 2503

A Jew, a Catholic and a Mormon were having drinks at the bar after an interfaith convention.

The Jew, bragging about his virility said, "I have four sons, one more and I’ll have a basketball team!"

The Catholic pooh-poohed this accomplishment, stating, "That’s nothing, I have 10 sons, one more and I’ll have a football team."

To which the Mormon replied, "You guys don't have a clue. I have 17 wives, one more and I’ll have a golf course!"

: Created: 09 April 2016; Hits: 3351

I was in bed with this chick last night. She turned to me and whispered in a low, sexy voice: "I want tonight to be magical"

So I fucked her and disappeared.

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More Than One Reason

A young man got a new job running the cash register at a general store. The old store owner promised he would teach him how to be a salesman and up-sell. "Watch how I do it," he said to his new hire.

As a customer put a bag of grass seed on the counter, the old-timer said to him, "When you plant those seeds your grass is gonna start growing and you're going to need a new lawnmower to cut it." "You know," said the customer, "I think you're right. I do need a new mower. Sure, I'll take one."

The new kid said, "Wow. I think I see what you mean. Let me try one." The next customer in line stepped up to the counter and set down a box of tampons. The young kid said, "You know, you should get you a new lawnmower to go with that." The man asked the kid, "What the hell are you talking about?"

The wanna-be salesman told him, "It looks like your weekend's shot, so you might as well cut the grass."

Finger Lickin' Kentucky Fried Chicken!

Why is a woman like the lunch special at Kentucky Fried Chicken?

By the time you’re finished with the breast and thighs, all you have left is the greasy box to put your bone in.

That Big? Really?

My dick is so big, there's still snow on it in the summertime.