How is a push-up bra like a bag of chips?
As soon as you open it, you realize it’s half empty.
"Forgive me, Father, I was fucking my wife and fantasized she was a nun."
"My son, sometimes when I fuck a nun I fantasize it's your wife."
Three guys are sitting in a bar bitching about how stupid their wives are.
The first guy says, "My wife is so dumb, she carries an automatic garage door opener in her car and we don't even have a garage."
The second guy says, "My wife is so dumb, she listens to her iPod and she doesn't have any earphones for it."
The third guy says, "My wife is so dumb, she carries a purse full of condoms and she doesn't even have a dick."
Valentines Day is going to be great! I'm guaranteed to fuck my wife up the ass tonight.
She's dyslexic and thinks it's Vaseline Day.
