How is a push-up bra like a bag of chips?
As soon as you open it, you realize it’s half empty.
What do you call a bunch of white guys sitting on a bench?
The NBA.
A cop pulls a guy over and says, "Hey pal... did you know your wife fell out a few blocks back?"
"Thank God... I thought I went deaf."
If a guy and a girl need a marriage license what do lesbians need?
A liquor license.
