How is a push-up bra like a bag of chips?
As soon as you open it, you realize it’s half empty.
An old guy visits a doctor. The doctor examines him and then sits down in the office for a consultation on his diagnosis.
"Well..." the doctor begins, "I'm sorry to have to tell you this... but you have cancer and you have Alzheimers."
The old guy looks at the doctor for a moment then says: "Thank god I don't have cancer."
Two rednecks are out fishing. The first one asks: "If I go to your house and fuck your wife and get her pregnant and she has a kid, would that make us kinfolk?"
The friend says: "Nope. That'd make us about even."
Wife: "Will you love me when I'm old and fat?"
Husband: "I do."
And that's when the fight started...
