What's the differece between a husband and a boyfriend?
45 minutes.
Why are men like cars?
Because they always pull out before they check to see if anyone else is coming.
How's a sun-tanned girl like a roast chicken?
The white parts are the best.
I was in bed with this chick last night. She turned to me and whispered in a low, sexy voice: "I want tonight to be magical"
So I fucked her and disappeared.