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Dick Jokes

DJoke400X311

The Dick Joke
High art... from a low place.

Too Soon

Hits: 3099

Why is sleeping with a man like a soap opera?

Just when it's getting interesting, they're finished until next time.

Doesn't Always Take Two

Hits: 3487

What does a woman's asshole do when she has an orgasm?

He's probably home watching football or something.

Sex Ed

Hits: 2951

Little Johnny was in sex ed class when the teacher began a discussion about genitals. Johnny shouted out, "My old man has got two of those"

The teacher was shocked and asked Johnny to explain.

"Well, the small one he uses when he takes a piss. And the large one he uses to brush the baby sitter's teeth."

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There's No Cure

A man and a woman are sitting beside each other in the first class section of the plane. The woman sneezes, takes out a tissue, gently wipes her nose. Then she suddenly begins to shudder violently in her seat.

The man isn’t sure what's going on, so goes back to reading. A few minutes later the woman sneezes again. She grabs a tissue, gently wipes her nose and once again begins to shudder violently.

The man is becoming more and more intrigued with this shuddering thing. A few more minutes pass and sure enough she sneezes yet again. So, out comes a tissue and after a gentle wipe the shuddering starts up.

The man has finally had all he can take. So he turns to the woman and says, "Three times you’ve sneezed and three times you’ve taken a tissue and wiped your nose then you shudder violently! Are you sending me signals or what?"

The woman replies, "I’m sorry if I disturbed you. I have a rare condition and when I sneeze, I have an orgasm." Now the guy is feeling a little embarrassed but is even more curious. He says, "I’ve never heard of that before. What are you taking for it?"

The woman looks at him and says, "Pepper."

Order in the Court

What do you call a judge with no balls?

Justice Prick

No Need To Call A Repairman

What do you do when your dishwasher stops working?

Slap her on the ass and tell her to get back to work.