My girlfriend thought I had a small penis.
I thought she was just shallow.
I have a a real problem with sex and booze...
Every time I have sex, my girlfriend boos.
My wife tried to goad me, "Our next door neighbor tells me her husband can make love to her 3X a day. Why can't you do that?"
I told her, "Because she always says, 'No, we might get caught.' "
And that's when the fight started...
Why does a dog lick himself?
He can't make a fist.