What did Cinderella do when she got to the ball?
Gagged!
What's the difference between a tire and 365 condoms?
One's a Goodyear and the other is a fucking good year.
Question: Which is more vicious... Killer Bees or Asian Murder Hornets?
Answer: My ex-wife.
My wife suggested we go to a marriage counselor to work on our relationship. I said sure. We get there and the therapist asks me to tell how I felt.
I said: "I knew right from the beginning our marriage wouldn't work. I'm an Aquarius and she's a cunt."
And that's when the fight started...
