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Just Plain Funny

PlainFunny400X200Not every laugh has to be a dick joke!

Over And Done

Created: 23 July 2016
Hits: 3117

An old man was in the red light district and approached a cute little prostitute working the corner. He asked: "How's about some action?" The girl looked him up and down and said: "Old man, I think you've had it!"

To which the old guy replied: "OK... how much do I owe you."

A Senior Moment

Created: 21 July 2016
Hits: 2877

Two old ladies are sitting on the park bench feeding the pigeons. Suddenly the first one says to her friend: "Did you just fart?"

Her friend answers: "Of course I did. You think I always smell like this?"

A Lot On The Side

Created: 19 July 2016
Hits: 3052

How can you tell when your girlfriend's getting really fat?

You start asking your wife for sex.

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Don't Miss These Jokes!

Adam and Eve

What did Eve wear? A fig leaf.

OK... So what did Adam wear?

A hole in Eve's fig leaf.

Off-Label Usage

Nursing homes now give Viagra to the old guys living there.

Keeps them from rolling out of bed.

But It Looked So Delicious

My wife and I attended a lecture on diet and health given by a prominent doctor.

"The things we put into our stomachs should have killed most of us sitting here, years ago." He said. "Red meat is awful. Soft drinks corrode our stomach lining. Chinese food is loaded with MSG. High fat diets can be disastrous. And none of us realize the long-term harm caused by impurities in our drinking water. However, there is one thing that is the most dangerous of all and we all have eaten it, or will eat it. Can anyone tell me what we eat that causes the most grief and suffering lasting for years after we eat it?"

I leaned over to my wife and whispered "I think he means wedding cake."

And that's when the fight started...

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