A laugh a day. It's not hard. Seriously.

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Just Plain Funny

PlainFunny400X200Not every laugh has to be a dick joke!

What Are Fences For?

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My neighbor looked over the fence and asked: "What are you doing?" I told her: "My goldfish died. I have to bury him."

"Why such a big hole?" she asked.

"'Cause he's inside your fucking cat."

No, Not That!

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What gets longer when you pull it, fits between the breasts, inserts neatly in a hole, and works best when jerked?

A seat belt.

Going Around Town

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Got home to find a man in bed with my wife. "Who said you could sleep with my wife?"

He said, "Everybody."

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The Secret is Out

A guy was complaining to his buddy: "Man, I had it all - money, a big house, a luxury car, and most of all the love of a beautiful woman. And then POOF... just like that it was gone!"

'What happened?' asked his friend.

"My wife found out..."

Hide Your Cows!

My wife was on the rag and really acting like a pain in the ass. So I figured I throw some gas on the fire and told her: "I figured out why they call it PMS... Mad Cow Disease was already taken!"

And that's when the fight started...

We Do It Every Year

Last Xmas Aunt Ellen hung herself.

As a traditional family, we didn't take her down until after New Year's.