Just Plain Funny
Not every laugh has to be a dick joke!
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My neighbor looked over the fence and asked: "What are you doing?" I told her: "My goldfish died. I have to bury him."
"Why such a big hole?" she asked.
"'Cause he's inside your fucking cat."
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What gets longer when you pull it, fits between the breasts, inserts neatly in a hole, and works best when jerked?
A seat belt.
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Got home to find a man in bed with my wife. "Who said you could sleep with my wife?"
He said, "Everybody."