A nun came to her Mother Superior and asked her to hear confession. "Today Father Johnson told me I had the gates of Heaven between my legs, and that he had the Key to Heaven. Then he opened my gates with his key."
"That bastard!" said Mother Superior. "He told me it was Gabriel's trumpet, and I've been blowing it."
A little girl asked her mom: "When you and daddy have sex, who enjoys it more?"
Her mother thought for a moment and replied: "Sweetie, you know when you have an itch in your ear and you stick your finger in and wiggle it around to make it go away? Think about it... which feels better, your finger or your ear?"
