Who You Calling Little?

Dwarf to doctor: You're pretty busy. You treat dwarfs?

Doc: Yeah but you'll have to be a little patient.

Hallmark Card fail:

"My tire was thumping, I thought it was flat. Looked underneath and noticed your cat."

A wife went to see a therapist. "I've got a big problem. Every time we're in bed and my husband climaxes he lets out this ear splitting yell."

"My dear," the shrink said, "that's completely normal. I don't see what the problem is."

"The problem is," she complained, "It wakes me up!"

A man tells his wife "I want to take a picture of your boobs so I can remember them like this forever."

The wife replies "I want to take a picture of your dick so I can enlarge it."

And that's when the fight started...