Dwarf to doctor: You're pretty busy. You treat dwarfs?
Doc: Yeah but you'll have to be a little patient.
How do you get a lawyer out of a tree?
Cut the rope.
My wife came in complaining about me never lifting a finger around the house.
So I did - the middle one.
And that's when the fight started...
What's the difference between a pickpocket and a Peeping Tom? A pickpocket snatches watches.