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All In Due Time

Category: And that's when the fight started...
Published: 21 March 2017
Hits: 2696

A young woman was taking an afternoon nap. When she woke up, she told her husband, "I just dreamed that you gave me a pearl necklace for Valentine's Day. What do you think it means?" "You'll know tonight," he told her with a wink.

That evening, he came home with a small package and gave it to his wife. Excited, she opened it to find her gift -  a paperback book titled "The Meaning of Dreams."

And that's when the fight started...

Call Me Old Fashioned

Category: Dick Jokes
Published: 20 March 2017
Hits: 2802

You know why men ask for a woman's hand in marriage?

Because they are tired of using their own.

You're Having My Baby

Category: Just Plain Funny
Published: 19 March 2017
Hits: 2878

Guy goes to his boss and asks for a day off, proudly saying: "My wife's gonna have a baby!" The boss tells him of course you can take the day off.

Two days later the guy shows up for work and the boss asks him: "So... was it a boy or a girl."

The guy replies: "How do I know... it takes nine months!"

Doctor Patient Confidentiality

Category: Dick Jokes
Published: 18 March 2017
Hits: 2951

A guy goes to see his doctor. In the exam room the doctor asks, "What brings you here today?" The guy says, "Before I show you, you have to promise not to laugh." The doctor nods, and the guys pulls down his pants and reveals an incredibly small penis.

Holding back laughter, the doctor manages to ask, "What exactly is the problem?"

The guy tells him, "Can't you see doc... it's swollen."

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It Only Has to Happen Once

How are blondes like computers?

You never appreciate them until they go down on you.

 

Change is Necessary

How many Freudian psychaitrists does it take to change a lightbulb?

Two. One to change the bulb and the other to hold the penis. Ladder! I meant ladder.

Down Boy

A guy visits the psychiatrist and tells him: "Doc, I need help, I think I'm turning into a dog. Every morning when I wake up I scratch behind my ear, like I'm looking for fleas. Then in the afternoon I run around in circles, like I'm chasing my tail. By the evening I lay down and lick my balls, just because I can. Doc, this has got to stop."

The doctor looks at him and asks: "Do you want to stop now?" The guy says: "Yes, yes"

So the doctor rolls up a magazine, swats the guy on the ass and yells: "Get off the couch!"

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