D*ck Joke of the Day
A laugh a day. It's not hard. Seriously.
  • Home
  • Dick Jokes
  • Just Plain Funny
  • That's when the fight started
  • WTF?!
  • About
  • Send Dick A Joke

twitter facebook youtube 27330664 ml50x52

  1. You are here:  
  2. Home
  3. Every Frickin' Joke

Every Frickin' Joke

All In Due Time

Category: And that's when the fight started...
Published: 21 March 2017
Hits: 2357

A young woman was taking an afternoon nap. When she woke up, she told her husband, "I just dreamed that you gave me a pearl necklace for Valentine's Day. What do you think it means?" "You'll know tonight," he told her with a wink.

That evening, he came home with a small package and gave it to his wife. Excited, she opened it to find her gift -  a paperback book titled "The Meaning of Dreams."

And that's when the fight started...

Call Me Old Fashioned

Category: Dick Jokes
Published: 20 March 2017
Hits: 2552

You know why men ask for a woman's hand in marriage?

Because they are tired of using their own.

You're Having My Baby

Category: Just Plain Funny
Published: 19 March 2017
Hits: 2629

Guy goes to his boss and asks for a day off, proudly saying: "My wife's gonna have a baby!" The boss tells him of course you can take the day off.

Two days later the guy shows up for work and the boss asks him: "So... was it a boy or a girl."

The guy replies: "How do I know... it takes nine months!"

Doctor Patient Confidentiality

Category: Dick Jokes
Published: 18 March 2017
Hits: 2666

A guy goes to see his doctor. In the exam room the doctor asks, "What brings you here today?" The guy says, "Before I show you, you have to promise not to laugh." The doctor nods, and the guys pulls down his pants and reveals an incredibly small penis.

Holding back laughter, the doctor manages to ask, "What exactly is the problem?"

The guy tells him, "Can't you see doc... it's swollen."

Page 50 of 286

  • 45
  • 46
  • 47
  • 48
  • 49
  • 50
  • 51
  • 52
  • 53
  • 54

Don't Miss These Jokes!

After I'm Gone

I was talking to my wife about what might happen after I died. I told her: Promise me one thing... that 6 months after I die you'll marry Bernie." She said: "I thought you hated Bernie."

"I do"

And that's when the fight started...

Why I Really Married You

Jack and his wife lived in Arizona where the summers are very hot. One day they awoke to a particularly severe heat wave. As he stepped out of the shower he complained to his wife saying, “it’s just too hot to wear any clothes on a day like this. What would the neighbors think if I mowed the lawn with no clothes.”

“That I only married you for your money.”

And that's when the fight started...

Thanksgiving Has A Whole New Meaning

One day, Little Johnny overheard his parents fighting. Later, he asked what "bitch" and "bastard" mean. They explained that they mean "lady" and "gentleman."

The next day, he overheard his parents having sex. He later asked what "penis" and "vagina" mean. His parents explained that they refer to "hats" and "coats."

At supper the next day, Little Johnny's mom cut her finger in the kitchen and yelled, "Oh f**k!" Little Johnny asked what that meant, and she said it means "cut."

A week later, guests arrive for Thanksgiving dinner. Little Johnny welcomes them at the door, saying, "Hello bitches and bastards! Hurry up with your penises and vaginas -- we can't wait to f**k the turkey!"

Copyright © 2025 D*ck Joke Of The Day. All Rights Reserved.