Every Frickin' Joke
Wanted: Alive!
- Category: Dick Jokes
- Hits: 2677
The local pharmacy was robbed of 100 bottles of Viagra. Clearly the work of a hardened criminal.
It's All How You Look At It
- Category: Just Plain Funny
- Hits: 2694
A married couple goes to the same Italian restaurant every Sunday for 30 years. And every time they show up the owner says, "Hey! Its-a you two guys. You my favorite-a couple. You made-a for each other. You last-a so long. You meant-a to be!"
Then one Sunday the guy walks in alone. The owner says, "Whats-a happened?" The guy tells him, "We got a divorce."
The Italian guy says, "Oh, you much-a better off-a now."
This One's About Tools
- Category: Dick Jokes
- Hits: 2339
What is the difference between a phillip and a flathead?
Easy! I can't flathead her ass with my dick.
The Danger of Leaving Town
- Category: Just Plain Funny
- Hits: 2786
Guy tells his brother, "I have to go to out of town for a couple of weeks. I need to leave my cat with you. Please take real good care of her." His brother says, "Relax. I got this."
A few days later, he calls his brother and asks, "So, how's my cat?" His brother tells him, "The cat's dead."
"Geeeez" says the guy, "Why'd you have to be so blunt? Couldn't you have broken it to me a little more gently? Like, you could have told me the cat was on the roof, and you had to call the Fire Department. But just before they got there, she slipped and fell to the ground. So you scooped her up and rushed her to the vet. But there was nothing he could do to save her. Something like that would have been much more sensitive." His brother says, "Whatever."
So then the guy asks, "How's Mom?"
His brother thinks for a moment then says, "Uh... Mom's on the roof ..."
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