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Done But Not Retired

Category: Dick Jokes
Published: 18 April 2017
Hits: 2919

What would you call a hooker with jizz all over her face?

Call her a cab ... her job is done.

And I Don't Mean The Stork

Category: Just Plain Funny
Published: 17 April 2017
Hits: 2909

What two things can get a woman pregnant when they're in the air?

Her feet.

Facts About The Big City

Category: Dick Jokes
Published: 16 April 2017
Hits: 2716

The average vagina 8" deep, the average penis 5 1/2" long. Do the math. In New York City alone there's 165 miles of unused pussy.

Not His Type

Category: Dick Jokes
Published: 15 April 2017
Hits: 2844

An Italian guy Luigi goes up to his neighbor Tony and says, "Hey, Tony... lemme ax you a question. You like-a woman with-a big, sloppy tits, that droop-a down this-a far?" Tony says, "No."

Luigi says, "Hokay. Now, lemme ax you another question. You like-a woman with-a big-a huge-a ass like a dump truck?" Tony says, "Hell, no."

Luigi then says, "Now lemme ax you one more question. You like-a woman with-a big, thick-a mustache and she's-a all the time smell like-a garlic?"

Tony says, "What-a you, crazy?"

Luigi says, "Then why you fuck-a my wife?"

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Don't Miss These Jokes!

It's Party Time

A man goes to a fancy costume party wearing only a glass jar on his dick. A woman asks, "So what are you?" He tells her, "I'm a fireman." "But you're only wearing a glass jar" she replies.

"Exactly! In an emergency, break glass, pull knob, and I'll come as fast as I can!"

Bench Warmers

What do you call a bunch of white guys sitting on a bench?

The NBA.

One Man's Heaven Is Another Woman's Hell

Why do only 10 percent of men make it to heaven?

Because if they all went, it would be called hell.

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