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Can You Tell The Difference?

Category: Dick Jokes
Published: 22 April 2017
Hits: 2566

Susie is 16. She comes home at 2 in the morning, with her mom waiting up mad as hell.

She says "Mom, I was with Johnny, I love him." Her mother says, "It's not love, it's infatuation."

Susie says, "But I blew him and then he fucked me in the ass."

Her mother says, "That's infatuation. When he fucks you in the ass and then you blow him... that's love."

Advice For Gardeners

Category: Just Plain Funny
Published: 21 April 2017
Hits: 2577

Easy, inexpensive way to get rid of weeds: Put 2 cups of Epsom salt and a 1/4 cup of dish soap in a gallon of vinegar. Shake well.

Then tell your family you're going to mix it in their food if they don't get off their lazy asses and go outside and yank up the goddamned crabgrass.

How You Grow The Franchise

Category: Dick Jokes
Published: 20 April 2017
Hits: 2950

How did Dairy Queen get pregnant?

Burger King forgot to wrap his whopper.

Advice For Parents

Category: Just Plain Funny
Published: 19 April 2017
Hits: 2356

You don't have to vaccinate all your children.

Just the ones you want to keep.

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Don't Miss These Jokes!

Just Drop It In

My wife stripped naked last night and stood on her head. I asked: "What the hell are you doing?"

She said: "Well... if you can't get it up again tonight, I thought maybe you could just drop it in!"

And that's when the fight started...

Get Your Nails Done Too

I love dating manicurists and hair stylists.

One does hand jobs, the other does blow jobs!

One Difference Between Men And Women

My wife and I were discussing the differences between men and women. She asked: "So what do you think the biggest difference is?"

I told her: "What comes to mind when I say I'd like to give you a facial!"

And that's when the fight started...

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