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Can You Tell The Difference?

Category: Dick Jokes
Published: 22 April 2017
Hits: 2513

Susie is 16. She comes home at 2 in the morning, with her mom waiting up mad as hell.

She says "Mom, I was with Johnny, I love him." Her mother says, "It's not love, it's infatuation."

Susie says, "But I blew him and then he fucked me in the ass."

Her mother says, "That's infatuation. When he fucks you in the ass and then you blow him... that's love."

Advice For Gardeners

Category: Just Plain Funny
Published: 21 April 2017
Hits: 2510

Easy, inexpensive way to get rid of weeds: Put 2 cups of Epsom salt and a 1/4 cup of dish soap in a gallon of vinegar. Shake well.

Then tell your family you're going to mix it in their food if they don't get off their lazy asses and go outside and yank up the goddamned crabgrass.

How You Grow The Franchise

Category: Dick Jokes
Published: 20 April 2017
Hits: 2895

How did Dairy Queen get pregnant?

Burger King forgot to wrap his whopper.

Advice For Parents

Category: Just Plain Funny
Published: 19 April 2017
Hits: 2309

You don't have to vaccinate all your children.

Just the ones you want to keep.

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Don't Miss These Jokes!

Stupid Is As Stupid Does

Three guys are sitting in a bar bitching about how stupid their wives are.

The first guy says, "My wife is so dumb, she carries an automatic garage door opener in her car and we don't even have a garage."

The second guy says, "My wife is so dumb, she listens to her iPod and she doesn't have any earphones for it."

The third guy says, "My wife is so dumb, she carries a purse full of condoms and she doesn't even have a dick."

Who Took My Pen!

A nurse walks in and says, "Doc, what are you doing?"

He says, "I'm writing a prescription."

She says, "But you're holding your thermometer."

He says, "Jesus Christ, some asshole has my pen."

Five Will Get You Ten

What do you say to a man with five penises?

"Your jeans fit like a glove."

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