One Man's Heaven Is Another Woman's Hell

Why do only 10 percent of men make it to heaven?

Because if they all went, it would be called hell.

Why is psychoanalysis faster for men than women?

When he has to go back to his childhood he's already there.

How did Pinocchio find out he was made out of wood?

His hand caught fire.

Baby seal walks into a bar.

Bartender says "What'll it be?"

Baby seal says "Anything but a Canadian Club."