What would you call a hooker with jizz all over her face?
Call her a cab ... her job is done.
When her car conks out the old lady pushes it into a gas station. Soon the mechanic has it purring like a kitten.The old gal asks: "What's up?"He tells her: "Crap in the carburetor."She says: "How often do I have to do that?"
Why'd the bride slide down the bannister on her honeymoon?
To warm up her husband's dinner.
Researchers have determined that 99% of all men jerk off in the shower and the other 1% sing.
Do you know what they sing?
I didn't think you did.