What do you call a bunch of white guys sitting on a bench?
The NBA.
Husband asks: "Should I watch porn or hockey?"
Wife: "Watch porn. You already know how to play hockey."
And that's when the fight started...
I woke up this morning with a text that seemed to have been sent to me by accident. It read,
"Hi... be home soon. Love ya, Dave xxx"
Being Valentine's Day I thought I'd have a bit of fun so I texted the guy back:
"Don't bother, I don't love you. You're a son of a bitch and I've been banging your brother."
I couldn't wait for the reply, then it came:
"You OK mom?"
Hired a 19 year-old Danish girl with huge tits to babysit.
Now where the fuck am I going to get some kids?
