What two things can get a woman pregnant when they're in the air?
Her feet.
What is the difference between a New York City taxi and an elephant?
The elephant has the trunk in the front and the asshole in the back.
Maid: "I want a raise. I fuck better than you."
Wife: "My husband said that?"
"No, all the landscapers."
A guy wakes up in the hospital: "Doc, I can't feel my legs!"
Doc: "That's because we amputated your arms."
