A guy walks up to a girl in a bar and says, "Hello. I think I'd like to get to know you better. I'm 48 years old, I've been a Congressman for 10 years and I'm honest."
The girl says, "Nice to meet you. I'm 30 years old. I've been a hooker for 15 years and I'm a virgin."
A ninety-year-old guy is walking by a lake when he hears, "Hi, there." He looks down, and it's a bullfrog. He picks it up, and the frog says, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess." The old guy unzips his bag, puts in the frog, and starts to zip it back up. The frog says, "What are you doing?" The old guy says, "At my age, I'd rather have a talking frog."
Last night I smiled at my wife and asked: "Honey, will you do something with your mouth that all men love?" She smiled back coyly and said: "And what is that, darling?"
