What two things can get a woman pregnant when they're in the air?
Her feet.
I don't wanna brag, but my dick is so big, the head has only seen my balls in pictures. Get that ladies?
A third-grade teacher is getting to know her class on the first day of school. She turns to one little girl and asks, "So what does your daddy do?"
The little girl replies, "Whatever Mommy tells him to."
What's the difference between a 40 year-old man, and a 40 year-old woman?
A 40 year-old woman dreams of having children, a 40 year-old man dreams of dating them.
