Dick's Jokes
In This Corner
- Category: Dick Jokes
- Hits: 2837
What's it called when a WWE wrestler ties his opponent's dick in a knot?
A Willie Nelson.
Reason To Stay Single
- Category: Just Plain Funny
- Hits: 3101
The laundromat: a bad place to find chicks.
If she can't afford a washing machine how can she support you?
Trade It In
- Category: Just Plain Funny
- Hits: 3211
Why is a woman like a car?
On a cold morning when you need it the most, she won't turn over.
Always Important To Match
- Category: Dick Jokes
- Hits: 3576
A blonde walks up to a guy in a blue bathing suit and says, "Did you know your eyes match your swim trunks?"
He says, "Why? Are my eyes bulging?"
You're On The Clock
- Category: Just Plain Funny
- Hits: 3399
The Dean of Women at an exclusive girls' school was lecturing her students on sexual morality. "We live today in very difficult times. In moments of temptation ask yourself just one question: Is 15 minutes of pleasure worth a lifetime of shame?"
One young girl in the back of the room rose and asked: "Excuse me, but how do you make it last 15 minutes?"
A Lesson Learned
- Category: Dick Jokes
- Hits: 3223
A guy was talking to his buddy, "I learned a very important life lesson today. I'm getting married in a few weeks and I went over to my fiancee's house to look at the wedding invitations with her mom. Her mother's really sexy, and as we were looking at the invitations, she started rubbing my leg. Within a few minutes she leaned over and asked me if I'd take her upstairs and fuck her. I immediately got up and walked out the front door. On the way out I ran into her father. He smiled and told me 'You passed our little test, son. Glad to have you in the family.'"
"So what's the life lesson?" his friend asked.
"Always keep your rubbers in the glove box."
In The Blink Of An Eye
- Category: Dick Jokes
- Hits: 3363
Why don't women blink during foreplay?
They don't have time.
Keep On Dreaming This Thanksgiving
- Category: Just Plain Funny
- Hits: 3075
What's a Turkeys favorite song?
"I'm Dreaming of a White Christmas"
Gold Digger
- Category: Just Plain Funny
- Hits: 3072
Bob, a 70-year-old, extremely wealthy widower, showed up at the Country Club with a breathtakingly beautiful and very sexy 25-year-old blonde-haired woman who knocked everyone's socks off with her youthful sex appeal and charm and who hung over Bob's arm and listened intently to his every word.
His buddies at the club are all aghast. At the very first chance, they cornered him to ask, "Bob, how'd you get the trophy girlfriend?" Bob replied, "Girlfriend? She's my wife!"
They are now even more knocked out. So now they ask 'How the hell did you persuade that fox to marry you?" "I lied about my age," Bob replied. "What, did you tell her you were only 50?"
Bob smiled and said, "No, I told her I was 90."
Forgive Me For I Have Sinned
- Category: Dick Jokes
- Hits: 3238
A 100-year-old man enters a Catholic confessional and admits "Father, last night I had sex with a couple of 18-year-old girls and it lasted for hours."
The priest sternly replies "That is a sin, I'm going to give you a penance."
The old man laughs "That won't be necessary father, I'm Jewish."
The father, confused, asks "Why are you telling me this?"
"I'm telling everyone!"
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