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Take Out The Trash

Category: And that's when the fight started...
Published: 28 October 2014
Hits: 3028

One night my wife asked me to take out the garbage.

I told her: "You cooked it, you take it out."

And that's when the fight started...

You Go First

Category: Dick Jokes
Published: 21 November 2016
Hits: 3686

A couple had been married for 20 years. Every time they made love the husband always insisted on shutting off the lights. Well, after 20 years the wife finally had enough. She figured she would break him of that crazy habit. So one night, while they were right in the middle of a romantic session, she flipped on the lights.

To her shock she looked down and saw her husband was holding a giant dildo. She got extremely upset. "You impotent bastard!" she screamed at him. "How could you lie to me all these years? You better explain yourself!"

The husband looked her straight in the eyes and said calmly, "I'll explain the rubber dick if you explain the kids."

Not So Bon Vivant

Category: Dick Jokes
Published: 10 September 2017
Hits: 3527

What do you call a guy who expects to get laid on the second date?

Slow.

Mental Health

Category: Just Plain Funny
Published: 21 September 2016
Hits: 3243

I turned my whole life around.

I used to be depressed and miserable. Now I'm miserable and depressed.

Who's Your Daddy?

Category: Just Plain Funny
Published: 15 July 2019
Hits: 3064

Johnson took his latest invention, a computerized crystal ball, to his banker hoping to get a business loan. The banker was skeptical, so Johnson said to give it a try.

The banker typed "Where's my father?" and instantly the reply came back "Fishing in Michigan."

The banker said "I knew this thing wouldn't work. My father's been dead for twenty years."

Johnson begged him "No.wait. Try asking in a different way."

So the banker tried "Where's my mother's husband?"

And bang the answer came back: "Your mother's husband has been dead for twenty years. Your father just landed a three pound trout."

Don't Give Me No Lip

Category: And that's when the fight started...
Published: 28 March 2017
Hits: 2817

My wife bought one of those do-it-yourself waxing kits. Really wanting to please me, she asked with a wink: "Should I do the sides and leave a little strip down the middle?"

I told her: "I'd prefer you have no moustache at all."

And that's when the fight started...

Three Dicks And A Joke

Category: Dick Jokes
Published: 29 February 2016
Hits: 3353

What's the difference between 3 dicks and a joke?

Your mother can't take a joke.

Pinocchio's Complaint

Category: Dick Jokes
Published: 03 August 2016
Hits: 3319

Pinnochio tells his Dad that whenever he has sex with a girl, she complains about the splinters. His father gives him a piece of sand paper and tells him to rub his dick with it before sex and it should solve the problem.

A few days later, his father asks: "How are things going with the girls?" Pinocchio tells him: "Girls... who needs girls?"

Time For A Quickie

Category: Dick Jokes
Published: 29 January 2015
Hits: 3051

A man walks into the kitchen and finds his wife boiling eggs. She looks at him passionately, lays on the counter, and says, "Make love to me Randy!"

Not wanting to lose the chance he embraces her quickly and they make passionate love.

When they are finished he asks her, "What was that about?"

She replies, "The egg timer was broken."

Call The Coroner

Category: Just Plain Funny
Published: 13 September 2016
Hits: 2829

How can you tell if your husband is dead?

The sex is the same but you get to use the remote.

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Don't Miss These Jokes!

Not Just A Kid's Game

Two gay guys live together. The first guy says, "Let's play hide and seek. I'll hide, and if you can find me, I'll blow you."

The second guy asks, "What if I can't find you?"

His roomy tells him, "I'll be behind the piano."

A Golden Combination

What's the best thing about a blow job?

Ten minutes of silence!

Tastes Like Chicken

What did the two lesbian frogs say to each other?

Wow! We do taste just like chicken!

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