What's the difference between 3 dicks and a joke?
Your mother can't take a joke.
Guy catches his son jerking off: "Son don't do that, you'll go blind."
Son shouts back "Pop, I'm over here."
What do you call a woman who can suck a lemon through a 40-foot garden hose.
Darling.
The day before Valentine's day I was looking for the perfect card for my wife when I saw something strange.
On the front of one of the cards it said, "I love you and only you."
By itself it may not sound strange, but this was a package of 20 cards.
