What would you call a guy who jerks off during an earthquake?
Focused.
What's the difference between sin and shame?
It's a sin to put it in, but it's a shame to pull it out.
The angry wife met her husband at the door. There was alcohol on his breath and lipstick on his collar. "I assume," she snarled, "that there is a very good reason for you to come waltzing in here at five o'clock in the morning?"
"There is," he replied. "Breakfast."
And that's when the fight started...
The teacher asked the class to use the word indefinitely in a sentence?
Little Johnny raised his hand and said: "When your balls are slapping on the cheeks of her ass, you're in definitely."