What would you call a guy who jerks off during an earthquake?
Focused.
A hooker visits her doctor and asks him to put a hole in her hip.
The doc asks, "Why?"
The hooker tells him, "So I can do a little work on the side."
My wife was curious. She asked: "When do married men stop jerking off?"
I told her: "When they get divorced."
And that's when the fight started...
It was our anniversary and I asked my wife if she remembered out wedding vows when the minister said "for better or worse?"
She said: "Yeah... You couldn't do any better and I couldn't do any worse."
