Advice From Dad

Guy catches his son jerking off: "Son don't do that, you'll go blind."

Son shouts back "Pop, I'm over here."

What do you call a guy who cries when he masturbates?

A tearjerker.

Old guy says: "Doc, every morning at 7 I take a healthy piss, and then at 8 I take a big shit."

"So... what's the problem?"

"I don't get up until 9."

Judge Calloway's court docket was too full.

So he knocked the sodomy charge down to "following too close."