Advice From Dad

Guy catches his son jerking off: "Son don't do that, you'll go blind."

Son shouts back "Pop, I'm over here."

A brunette tells her blonde sister "Last night I slept with a Brazilian."

The blonde sister replies "I thought I was the slut! How many is a Brazilian?"

I just joined a brand new 13-step treatment program. I'm still on step 1 - becoming an alcoholic.

What doesn't belong in this list: Meat, Eggs, Wife, Blowjob?

Blowjob. You can beat your meat, eggs or your wife, but you can't beat a blowjob.