Advice From Dad

Guy catches his son jerking off: "Son don't do that, you'll go blind."

Son shouts back "Pop, I'm over here."

How do you know if a hippie's been staying at your house?

He's still there.

How are blondes like computers?

You never appreciate them until they go down on you.

What's the definition of a lady?

Someone who doesn't drink or smoke, and the only time she curses is when your dick slips out.