What's the difference between zebras and female Marines?
Zebras don't have to suck anybody's dick to get their stripes.
Why doesn't Smokey the Bear have any kids?
Because every time Mrs. Smokey gets hot, he covers her with dirt and beats her with a shovel.
My wife and I love to work out. This morning at the gym we had a discussion. She asked me: "What do you think is the most active muscle in a woman?"
I told her: "My dick."
And that's when the fight started...
Sign on the whorehouse door: Out to lunch. Beat it.