A Military Question

What's the difference between zebras and female Marines?

Zebras don't have to suck anybody's dick to get their stripes.

A brunette, a blonde & a redhead are all in 5th grade. Who has the biggest tits?

The blonde... she's 18!

What do you do when you see your husband staggering in the back yard?

Shoot him again.

My wife is constantly complaining that I don't listen to her...

...or something like that.