A Military Question

: Created: 22 November 2014; Hits: 3350

What's the difference between zebras and female Marines?

Zebras don't have to suck anybody's dick to get their stripes.

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All Alone On Thanksgiving

It was the first time the blonde was eating Thanksgiving dinner without her family. Trying to re-enact the tradition, she prepared a dinner for herself alone. The next day, her mother called to see how everything went.

“Oh, mother, I made myself a lovely dinner, but I had so much trouble trying to eat the turkey!” said the daughter.

“Did it not taste good?” her mother asked.

“I don’t know,” the blonde said. “It wouldn’t sit still!”

Watch Where You Hang Those Things

An old couple sits down to breakfast on their Fiftieth Anniversary stark naked.

The wife says "Oh, Harold, this is just like fifty years ago...my breasts feel all warm and tingly..."

He says, "They ought to be, Gladys...one's hanging in your oatmeal and the other is in your coffee."

Nag Nag Nag

Jake the farmer has an incredibly nagging wife. One day he's out in the field, she brings his lunch to him, and then sits there and berates him while he's eating. Suddenly, the mule kicks up his back legs, smacking her in the head, and it kills her instantly.

At the wake, the minister notices that when a woman offers her sympathy, Jake nods his head up and down, but when a man comes up and speaks to him, he shakes his head from side to side. The minister says to Jake, "Why was it that you nod your head up and down to all the women and shake your head from side to side to all the men?"

Jake says, "The women all say how nice she looks, and how pretty her dress is. The men all say, Is that mule for sale?'"