New Train Set For Christmas

Why are a woman's breasts like a Xmas train set?

Originally made for kids but dad wants to play with them.

I came home one evening and my wife was in the kitchen crying.

She told me she had baked me a pie and the dog ate it.

I told her: "Don't cry honey. I'll buy you another dog."

And that's when the fight started.

Lifehack: How do you find a needle in a haystack?

Easy... burn the fuckin' hay! Any more questions?

You didn't know old Dick Johnson is a bit of a poet, did you. Yep! My dick is a Longfellow.