New Train Set For Christmas

Why are a woman's breasts like a Xmas train set?

Originally made for kids but dad wants to play with them.

What's the difference between a garbanzo bean and a chick pea?

I wouldn't pay fifty bucks to have a garbanzo bean on my face.

Why'd the trapeze artist divorce his wife?

He caught her in the act.

I don't want to brag... but I have an incredible sex drive.

The one fat chick who'll screw me lives 100 miles away!