A Night On The Town

After a night of drinking, drugs and wild sex, I woke up to find myself next to a really ugly woman.

That's when I realized I made it home safely.

You know why men ask for a woman's hand in marriage?

Because they are tired of using their own.

Dear Santa,

I've been good all year. Okay, most of the time. Well, more like once in a while...

Oh f*ck it I'll buy my own shit!

- Billy

Why are blondes so easy to get into bed?

Who cares!