Something Magical

I was in bed with this chick last night. She turned to me and whispered in a low, sexy voice: "I want tonight to be magical"

So I fucked her and disappeared.

What did the banana say to the vibrator?

Why are you shaking she's going to eat me.

You know what happens when you stop believing in Santa Claus?

You start getting clothes for Christmas.

What is the difference between a Harley and a Hoover?

The position of the dirt bag.