How can you tell if you're at a gay barbecue?
The hot dogs taste like shit.
A drunk wakes up in a cemetery in a freshly-dug grave. He thinks: If I'm alive, why's there a tombstone? If I'm dead, why do I have to piss?
Why are a woman's breasts like a Xmas train set?
Originally made for kids but dad wants to play with them.
My wife came out of the shower, winked at me and said, "I shaved my pussy! You know what that means?"
I said, "Yeah the fucking drain is clogged again."
And that's when the fight started...
