How can you tell if you're at a gay barbecue?
The hot dogs taste like shit.
My wife stripped naked last night and stood on her head. I asked: "What the hell are you doing?"
She said: "Well... if you can't get it up again tonight, I thought maybe you could just drop it in!"
And that's when the fight started...
What gets longer when you pull it, fits between the breasts, inserts neatly in a hole, and works best when jerked?
A seat belt.
A guy is at the funeral home viewing his wife's coffin with a sad look on his face. His friend walks up to comfort him and says: "Don't worry Harry, you'll meet another woman."
"I know," Harry replied, "but what am I going to do tonight?"
