A laugh a day. It's not hard. Seriously.

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And that's when the fight started...

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I'm just sayin... that's all.

Boring!

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The other night, my wife asked me how many women I'd slept with.  

I told her, "Only you. All the others kept me up all night!"

And that's when the fight started...

Women Are Emotional

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My wife told me I should be more affectionate.

So I told her I got a girlfriend.

And that's when the fight started...

Get Back In The Kitchen!

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My wife asked me to get her a watch for her birthday.

I told her, "What for...there's a clock on the stove!"

And that's when the fight started...

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Don't Miss These Jokes!

Baby Polar Bear

A baby polar bear goes to his mama and asks: "Am I a real polar bear?"

His mama assures him: "Of course you are. You're my son and we live in the north pole."

Then the baby bear goes to his father and asks: "Dad, am I a real polar bear?"

His dad tells him: "Yes you are son. You have big paws and you're white just like me. Why do you ask?"

"Cause I'm fuckin' freezing."

What's In That Tackle Box

"Every Sunday you go fishing, right?

Husband: "Yeah why?"

"The fish came by to tell you she's pregnant!"

Get In The Swing Of Things

The cops show up at the house. There's a guy lying on the floor in a pool of blood and a woman holding a bloody 5-iron. One of the cops says, "Is that your husband?" She says, "Yep." He says, "He's dead." She says, "Yep." He asks, "Did you hit him with the golf club?" She says, "Yep." He says, "How many times?"

She says, "I don't know. Four, five ... put me down for four."