A laugh a day. It's not hard. Seriously.

twitter facebook youtube 27330664 ml50x52

And that's when the fight started...

FightStarted400X200

I'm just sayin... that's all.

Boring!

Hits: 2528

The other night, my wife asked me how many women I'd slept with.  

I told her, "Only you. All the others kept me up all night!"

And that's when the fight started...

Women Are Emotional

Hits: 2858

My wife told me I should be more affectionate.

So I told her I got a girlfriend.

And that's when the fight started...

Get Back In The Kitchen!

Hits: 3036

My wife asked me to get her a watch for her birthday.

I told her, "What for...there's a clock on the stove!"

And that's when the fight started...

Page 41 of 53

Don't Miss These Jokes!

One Way To Drive Home The Point

A guy gets on a bus sits down next to a very attractive nun. Totally enamored he boldly asks if he can have sex with her. Naturally the nun says no and gets off at the next stop. The guy goes to the bus driver and asks him if he knows of any way he might be able to have sex with the nun.

"Well," says the bus driver, "every night at 8 o'clock, she goes to the cemetery to pray. If you dress up as God, I'm sure you could convince her to have sex with you."

So the guy figures he would give it a try. He dresses up in his best God costume and hides out in the cemetery. At eight he sees the nun arrive. Just as she starts to pray he jumps out to confront her as God.

"Oh, God!" she exclaims. "Take me with you!" The guy tells her she must first have sex with him to prove her faith. The nun says yes, but tells him she prefers anal sex. Before you know it, they're getting down to it, as he ravages her from behind. When it's over, the guy suddenly pulls off his God disguise and shouts: "Haha! I'm the man from the bus!"

"Haha!" the nun says back to him while pulling her costume off, "I'm the bus driver!"

New Business

Here at Dick Joke of the Day we are thinking about selling our own brand of T-Shirts.

They'll read: "LIFE'S A DICK. WHEN IT GETS HARD, FUCK IT!"

Off-Label Usage

Nursing homes now give Viagra to the old guys living there.

Keeps them from rolling out of bed.