Boring!

The other night, my wife asked me how many women I'd slept with.

I told her, "Only you. All the others kept me up all night!"

And that's when the fight started...

A priest gets a flat tire fixed.

As the car's coming down on the lift, the priest says to the mechanic, "Are the lug nuts tight?"

The mechanic says, "Tight as a nun's cunt."

The priest says, "You better give them another turn."

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks: "Why the long face?"

My wife and I had our usual back and forth at breakfast when I finally said: "You know, I was a fool when I married you."

She replied, "Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn’t notice."

And that's when the fight started...