Just Plain Funny

PlainFunny400X200 Not every laugh has to be a dick joke!

Easy, inexpensive way to get rid of weeds: Put 2 cups of Epsom salt and a 1/4 cup of dish soap in a gallon of vinegar. Shake well.

Then tell your family you're going to mix it in their food if they don't get off their lazy asses and go outside and yank up the goddamned crabgrass.

You don't have to vaccinate all your children.

Just the ones you want to keep.

What two things can get a woman pregnant when they're in the air?

Her feet.

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A guy gets a prescription from his doctor for Viagra with the instruction to take it one hour before sex.

He gets home, checks his watch and looking for a little action he pops a pill an hour before his wife is due home from work.

But just as he was expecting her, she phoned to say that she would be home late while she ran some errands.

In a panic, he phoned the doctor. "What should I do?" he asked. "I've taken the pill but the effects will wear off by the time my wife gets home."

"I see," said the doctor. "It is a shame to waste it. Do you have a maid?" "Yes." "Well, you could occupy yourself with her instead?"

"But I don't need Viagra with the maid."

What do you call a cheap circumcision?

A rip-off!

What's the difference between your paycheck and your dick?

You don't have to beg your wife to blow your paycheck!

Advice For Gardeners