Just Plain Funny
Not every laugh has to be a dick joke!
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How come during sex it's OK to say, 'Who's your daddy?,' but it's not OK to say, 'I love you, mommy'?
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A couple has sex. When they're done, the girl looks in the box of condoms and sees only 6 left out of 12. She asks, "What happened to the other condoms?" The guy says, "I, uh... I made balloon animals out of them for my niece and nephew."
The next day the girl's at work telling the story to her co-workers. She turns to one of the guys and asks: "Have you ever done that?" He tells her, "Sure. All the time."
She can't believe it so she argues: "Really? You make balloon animals out of condoms?"
He says back, "No. I thought you were asking if I ever lied to my girlfriend."
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A drunk wakes up in a cemetery in a freshly-dug grave. He thinks: If I'm alive, why's there a tombstone? If I'm dead, why do I have to piss?