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Don't Say It

Created: 08 April 2017
Hits: 3026

How come during sex it's OK to say, 'Who's your daddy?,' but it's not OK to say, 'I love you, mommy'?

Have You Ever Done That?

Created: 06 April 2017
Hits: 2980

A couple has sex. When they're done, the girl looks in the box of condoms and sees only 6 left out of 12. She asks, "What happened to the other condoms?" The guy says, "I, uh... I made balloon animals out of them for my niece and nephew."

The next day the girl's at work telling the story to her co-workers. She turns to one of the guys and asks: "Have you ever done that?" He tells her, "Sure. All the time."

She can't believe it so she argues: "Really? You make balloon animals out of condoms?"

He says back, "No. I thought you were asking if I ever lied to my girlfriend."

Reality Check

Created: 03 April 2017
Hits: 2826

A drunk wakes up in a cemetery in a freshly-dug grave. He thinks: If I'm alive, why's there a tombstone? If I'm dead, why do I have to piss?

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Don't Miss These Jokes!

I'm Going To Disneyland!

A guy wanted to have sex with his wife. So he gave her a wink and popped a Viagra.

His wife looked at him and said: "You know why Viagra is just like Disneyland? They both make you wait an hour for a two minute ride!"

And that's when the fight started...

Three Gals Having a Few Drinks

Three gals were sitting at a bar throwing back a few drinks and talking about their sex lives. The first woman said: "I call my husband the dentist. Nobody can drill like he does."

The second woman giggled and confessed: "I call my husband the miner because of his incredible shaft."

The third woman quietly sipped her whiskey until her friends said: "Say, what do you call your husband?" She frowned and said: "The postman." "Why the postman?" her friends asked.

"Because he always delivers late, and half the time it's in the wrong box."

How To Make Your Husband Happy

The night before her wedding, the bride-to-be talked with her mother. "Mom," she said, "I want you to teach me how to make my new husband happy."

The mother took a deep breath and began, "When two people love, honor, and respect each other, love can be a very beautiful thing..."

"I know how to fuck him, mom," the daughter interrupted. "I want you to teach me how to make a great lasagna."

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