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PlainFunny400X200Not every laugh has to be a dick joke!

One For Just About Everything

Created: 19 May 2017
Hits: 2066

If a guy and a girl need a marriage license what do lesbians need?

A liquor license.

Safety First

Created: 17 May 2017
Hits: 2320

When's the best time to put out the cat?

When it's on fire.

To Each His Own

Created: 15 May 2017
Hits: 1956

Three rabbits escape from a testing lab and find an entire field full of carrots. They eat themselves into a stupor and sleep throughout the night. The next morning, they find an entire field full of female rabbits with no males in sight. They screw themselves into a stupor and sleep throughout the night. The next morning, the rabbits get to talking.

"I'm gonna go back to that field of carrots," says one.

"I'm gonna go back to those cute little rabbits," says the second.

"I'm going back to the lab," says the third. "I'm dying for a cigarette."

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Notes From My Course In Business School

Here is all you need to know about marketing:

You spot a hot chick at a party. You go up to her and say, "I’m fantastic in bed." That’s called Direct Marketing.

You’re at a party with a bunch of friends and you spot a hot chick. Have one of your buddies go up to her, point over to you and say, "He’s fantastic in bed." That’s called Advertising.

You spot a hot chick at a party. You get her phone number, call her up the next day and say, "Hi, I’m fantastic in bed." We'll call that Telemarketing.

You’re at a party when you spot a hot chick. You get up, straighten your tie, walk over to her and bring her a drink. You compliment her on how she's dressed. Be sure to open the door for her, pick up her purse if she drops it and even offer her a ride later. Then you say to her, "By the way, I’m fantastic in bed." You got it - Public Relations.

Finally, you’re at a party and spot a hot chick. She walks up to you and says, "I hear you’re fantastic in bed." Now that’s Brand Recognition.

What's Better?

What's better than being a historic pioneer of women's rights?

Being a man.

Can You Build Things? Check Your Mail!

How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?

Rename the email folder 'Instruction Manuals'

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