Shirley was sitting on a beach in Florida, trying to strike up a conversation with the attractive guy reading his book on the blanket next to her.
"Hi" she said. "Do you like movies?" "Yes, I do," he responded, then returned to his book.
Shirley persisted, "Do you like gardening?" The man looked up again. "Yes, I do," he said politely before returning to his reading.
Undaunted, Shirley asked, "Do you like pussycats?"
With that, the man dropped his book and pounced on Shirley, pulled her bottoms off, and proceeded to pound her right there on the beach. As the cloud of sand began to settle, Shirley dragged herself upright and panted, "Wow... how did you know that was what I wanted?"
The guy thought a bit and replied, "How did you know my name was Katz?"
A car was driving recklessly down the street, swerving left and right. When it whizzed past a cop he pulled it over. A blonde rolled down the window and said, " Officer, I'm so glad you're here. I saw a tree in the road, then I saw another. So I had to swerve to keep from hitting them!"
The officer looked at her and said, "Ma'am, that's your air freshener."