You don't have to vaccinate all your children.
Just the ones you want to keep.
What do eggs Benedict and a blowjob have in common?
You can't get either of them at home.
Why did the snowman have a smile on his face?
Because the snowblower was coming down the block.
I turned my whole life around.
I used to be depressed and miserable. Now I'm miserable and depressed.
