If a guy and a girl need a marriage license what do lesbians need?
A liquor license.
What's the difference between a garbanzo bean and a chick pea?
I wouldn't pay fifty bucks to have a garbanzo bean on my face.
What can a goose do, a duck can't, and your lawyer should?
Stick his bill up his ass.
A blonde goes to the gynecologist, and he examines her.
He says, "You have acute vaginitis."
She says, "Thank you..."