If a guy and a girl need a marriage license what do lesbians need?
A liquor license.
My wife and I were watching "Who Wants to Be a Millionaire" while we were in bed. I turned to her and said: 'Do you want to have sex?
"'No!" she answered. Then I said: "Is that your final answer?"
She didn't even look at me this time, and just said: "Yes."
So I said: "Then I'd like to phone a friend."
And that's when the fight started...
Women are like parking spots. With all the good ones taken & nobody looking, you stick it in a disabled one.
My wife's losing weight now thanks to a weight loss club. She goes near the fridge, I hit her with the club.
