A laugh a day. It's not hard. Seriously.

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Just Plain Funny

PlainFunny400X200Not every laugh has to be a dick joke!

Another Vocabulary Lesson

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Teacher to the class: "Who can use the word 'definitely' in a sentence?"

So Little Johnny raises his hand: "Teacher, do farts have lumps in them?"

The Teacher said looked puzzled but answered: "Of course not Johnny."

To which Little Johnny answered: "Then I have definitely crapped my pants."

Sage Advice

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Grandpa always told me don’t watch your money watch your health. So one day, while I'm watching my health, someone stole my money.

It was grandpa.

Religious Instruction

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Teacher: "What do you know about the Resurrection?"
 
Johnny: "If it lasts more than 4 hrs call your doctor."

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Don't Miss These Jokes!

Don't Forget To Flush!

What's in the toilet of the star ship enterprise?

The captain's log.

Not His Type

An Italian guy Luigi goes up to his neighbor Tony and says, "Hey, Tony... lemme ax you a question. You like-a woman with-a big, sloppy tits, that droop-a down this-a far?" Tony says, "No."

Luigi says, "Hokay. Now, lemme ax you another question. You like-a woman with-a big-a huge-a ass like a dump truck?" Tony says, "Hell, no."

Luigi then says, "Now lemme ax you one more question. You like-a woman with-a big, thick-a mustache and she's-a all the time smell like-a garlic?"

Tony says, "What-a you, crazy?"

Luigi says, "Then why you fuck-a my wife?"

Best If Used By

Wife asks her spouse: "What are you doing?" Her husband says: "Nothing." So she presses him: "Nothing...? You've been reading our marriage certificate for the last hour."

He tells her: "Well... yeah... I was looking for the expiration date."

And that's when the fight started...