A laugh a day. It's not hard. Seriously.

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Biology or Cooking Class

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What do you get when you cross a donkey with an onion?

A piece of ass that will bring tears to your eyes.

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What's The Dress Code

Why do blondes wear underwear?

To keep their ankles warm.

Wrap it Up

A lady goes into a sporting goods store and tells the salesman, "I need a present for my son's birthday."
The salesman suggests, "How about this skateboard?"
She asks, "How much?" He says, "Forty-nine ninety-five." She says, "Too much."
Then he suggests, "How about this baseball bat?" She asks, "How much?" He says, "Eight ninety-five."
She says, "Great, I'll take it."
He then asks, "You wanna ball for the bat?"
She says, "No ... but I'll blow you for the skateboard."

Either Way It Works

A nun came to her Mother Superior and asked her to hear confession. "Today Father Johnson told me I had the gates of Heaven between my legs, and that he had the Key to Heaven. Then he opened my gates with his key."

"That bastard!" said Mother Superior. "He told me it was Gabriel's trumpet, and I've been blowing it."