Just Plain Funny
Not every laugh has to be a dick joke!
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Old Dick Johnson sometimes has to re-think relationships.
Right now I think I'm spending way too much time with my girlfriend's family... I think her husband is getting suspicious.
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A guy says to his friend, “I haven’t spoken to my wife in 18 months.”
The friend asks, “Why not?”
The guy tells him, “I don’t like to interrupt her.”
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A nice, calm and respectable lady went into the pharmacy, walked right up to the pharmacist, looked him straight in the eye, and said, "I would like to buy some cyanide." The pharmacist asked, "Why in the world do you need cyanide?" The lady replied, "I need it to poison my husband."
The pharmacists eyes got big and he exclaimed, "Lord have mercy! I can't give you cyanide to kill your husband! That's against the law! I'll lose my license! They'll throw both of us in jail! All kinds of bad things will happen. Absolutely not! You CANNOT have any cyanide!" The lady reached into her purse and pulled out a picture of her husband in bed with the pharmacist's wife.
The pharmacist looked at the picture and replied, "Well now. That's different. You didn't tell me you had a prescription."