A laugh a day. It's not hard. Seriously.

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Just Plain Funny

PlainFunny400X200Not every laugh has to be a dick joke!

Better rethink this one

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Old Dick Johnson sometimes has to re-think relationships.

Right now I think I'm spending way too much time with my girlfriend's family... I think her husband is getting suspicious.

Never Stopped Talking

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A guy says to his friend, “I haven’t spoken to my wife in 18 months.”

The friend asks, “Why not?”

The guy tells him, “I don’t like to interrupt her.”

Not Your Typical Over The Counter Medicine

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A nice, calm and respectable lady went into the pharmacy, walked right up to the pharmacist, looked him straight in the eye, and said, "I would like to buy some cyanide." The pharmacist asked, "Why in the world do you need cyanide?" The lady replied, "I need it to poison my husband."

The pharmacists eyes got big and he exclaimed, "Lord have mercy! I can't give you cyanide to kill your husband! That's against the law! I'll lose my license! They'll throw both of us in jail! All kinds of bad things will happen. Absolutely not! You CANNOT have any cyanide!" The lady reached into her purse and pulled out a picture of her husband in bed with the pharmacist's wife.

The pharmacist looked at the picture and replied, "Well now. That's different. You didn't tell me you had a prescription."

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Don't Miss These Jokes!

It's Party Time

A man goes to a fancy costume party wearing only a glass jar on his dick. A woman asks, "So what are you?" He tells her, "I'm a fireman." "But you're only wearing a glass jar" she replies.

"Exactly! In an emergency, break glass, pull knob, and I'll come as fast as I can!"

Get In The Swing Of Things

The cops show up at the house. There's a guy lying on the floor in a pool of blood and a woman holding a bloody 5-iron. One of the cops says, "Is that your husband?" She says, "Yep." He says, "He's dead." She says, "Yep." He asks, "Did you hit him with the golf club?" She says, "Yep." He says, "How many times?"

She says, "I don't know. Four, five ... put me down for four."

Turn It Off!

What's the difference between light and hard?

You can fall asleep with a light on.