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Just Plain Funny

PlainFunny400X200Not every laugh has to be a dick joke!

How'd He Do It?!

Created: 19 April 2016
Hits: 2775

A man went to the police station looking for a chance to question the burglar who had broken into his house the night before.

“You’ll get your chance in court.” said the Desk Sargent.

“No, no no!” said the man. “I want to know how he got into the house without waking my wife. I’ve been trying to do that for years!”

Good Riddance

Created: 18 April 2016
Hits: 2644

Two guys were out fishing on the lake when a hearse and funeral procession passed the boat on a nearby road. One of them stood up and held his fishing hat over his heart as the hearse passed.

His buddy commented, "Gee, Harry, that was really nice and respectful!"

To which Harry replied, "Well, after all we were married for 40 years."

Beautiful Women

Created: 17 April 2016
Hits: 2401

A man approaches a very beautiful woman in a large supermarket and asks, “You know, I’ve lost my wife here in the supermarket. Can you talk to me for a couple of minutes?”

“Why?” the woman asks.

“Because every time I talk to a beautiful woman my wife appears out of nowhere.”

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Don't Miss These Jokes!

Picture Perfect

I thought I could please my wife by offering her a sumptuous breakfast in bed. So I asked her what would be her perfect breakfast.

She said: "My perfect breakfast would be a cup of gourmet coffee. Our son is on the cover of the Wheaties box. Our daughter is on the cover of Business Week. And your face is on the back of the milk carton."

And that's when the fight started...

Going Down Under And Not Coming Back

A guy says, "For our Twentieth Anniversary, I'm taking my wife to Australia."

His friend says, "That's going to be tough to beat. What're you going to do for your Twenty-Fifth Anniversary?"

The first guy says, "I'm going to go back and get her."

 

A Simple Request

Last night I smiled at my wife and asked: "Honey, will you do something with your mouth that all men love?" She smiled back coyly and said: "And what is that, darling?"

I said: "Close it!"

And that's when the fight started...

 

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