Just Plain Funny
Not every laugh has to be a dick joke!
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The cops show up at the house. There's a guy lying on the floor in a pool of blood and a woman holding a bloody 5-iron. One of the cops says, "Is that your husband?" She says, "Yep." He says, "He's dead." She says, "Yep." He asks, "Did you hit him with the golf club?" She says, "Yep." He says, "How many times?"
She says, "I don't know. Four, five ... put me down for four."
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Guy vists a doctor and tells him: Doc, I can't stop singing 'The Green, Green Grass Of Home.'" The doctor says, "That sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome." The patient asks: "Is that common?"
The doctor says, "It's not unusual."
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Husband and wife are fast asleep when the phone rings at two o'clock in the morning. The husband picks up the phone and says: "Hello?... How the heck do I know? What am I, the weatherman?" Then he slams the phone down.
His wife rolls over and asks: "Who was that?" The husband replies: "I don't know. Some guy who wanted to know if the coast was clear."