Proper Treatment

: Created: 09 August 2016; Hits: 1764

My wife remarked: "That Alzheimer's is a horrible disease. If I ever got it I think I'd shoot myself"

I replied: "You said that five minutes ago."

And that's when the fight started....

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Sex Is Always On Time

Typical macho guy married a good-looking broad and after the wedding, he laid down the rules: "I'll be home when I want, if I want and at what time I want and I don't want any hassle from you. I expect a great dinner to be on the table unless I tell you that I won't be home for dinner. I'll go hunting, fishing, boozing and card-playing when I want with my old buddies and don't you give me a hard time about it. Those are my rules. Any questions?"

His new bride said, "No, that's fine with me. Just understand that there will be sex here at seven o'clock every night... whether you're here or not."

This Is What I Call It

If nuts on a wall are walnuts and nuts on a chest are chestnuts, what are nuts on a chin?

A blowjob.

Take the Plea

Judge Calloway's court docket was too full.

So he knocked the sodomy charge down to "following too close."