How do you get a really fat girl into your bed?
Piece of cake.
A college kid is fucking an old lady. She says, "It may be Winter on top, but it's Summer in the furnace."
He says, "Yeah? Well, if you don't put a little Spring in your ass, we're gonna be here till Fall."
Why did the woman leave her husband after he spent all their money on a penis enlarger?
She just couldn’t take it any longer.
What did the boy with no hands get for Christmas?
Gloves!
Just kidding, I don't know what he got, he hasn't opened it yet.
