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Mowing The Lawn

Category: And that's when the fight started...
Published: 30 January 2015
Hits: 2985

When our lawn mower broke and wouldn't run, my wife kept hinting to me that I should get it fixed. But, somehow I always had something else to take care of first, the shed, the bike, making beer.. Always something more important to me. Finally she thought of a clever way to make her point.

When I arrived home one day, I found her seated in the tall grass, busily snipping away with a tiny pair of sewing scissors. I watched silently for a short time and then went into the house. I was gone only a minute, and when I came out again I handed her a toothbrush. I said, "When you finish cutting the grass, you might as well sweep the driveway.."

And that's when the fight started...

Time For A Quickie

Category: Dick Jokes
Published: 29 January 2015
Hits: 2981

A man walks into the kitchen and finds his wife boiling eggs. She looks at him passionately, lays on the counter, and says, "Make love to me Randy!"

Not wanting to lose the chance he embraces her quickly and they make passionate love.

When they are finished he asks her, "What was that about?"

She replies, "The egg timer was broken."

A Night Out On The Town

Category: And that's when the fight started...
Published: 28 January 2015
Hits: 3114

When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace expensive...

...so, I took her to a gas station.

And that's when the fight started...

Sounds Like Spring Break

Category: Dick Jokes
Published: 27 January 2015
Hits: 3016

A brunette tells her blonde sister "Last night I slept with a Brazilian."

The blonde sister replies "I thought I was the slut! How many is a Brazilian?"

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Don't Miss These Jokes!

Correct Dosage

Why shouldn't you cut suppositories in half?

They're supposed to be shoved up your ass whole.

Please, Tell Me What You Really Think

A woman is checking out in the grocery line. She places one apple, a small ready-made salad, a frozen dinner, and a pint of ice cream on the conveyor.

The guy ringing everything up smiles at her and says: "I'll bet your single." The woman looks back and asks: "How did you know, by my choice of food?."

The guy replies: "No, 'cause you're ugly."

Is There An App For That?

My Grandpa said, "Your generation relies too much on technology!" I told him, "No, your generation relies too much on technology!"

Then I unplugged his life support.

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