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Mowing The Lawn

Category: And that's when the fight started...
Published: 30 January 2015
Hits: 2948

When our lawn mower broke and wouldn't run, my wife kept hinting to me that I should get it fixed. But, somehow I always had something else to take care of first, the shed, the bike, making beer.. Always something more important to me. Finally she thought of a clever way to make her point.

When I arrived home one day, I found her seated in the tall grass, busily snipping away with a tiny pair of sewing scissors. I watched silently for a short time and then went into the house. I was gone only a minute, and when I came out again I handed her a toothbrush. I said, "When you finish cutting the grass, you might as well sweep the driveway.."

And that's when the fight started...

Time For A Quickie

Category: Dick Jokes
Published: 29 January 2015
Hits: 2937

A man walks into the kitchen and finds his wife boiling eggs. She looks at him passionately, lays on the counter, and says, "Make love to me Randy!"

Not wanting to lose the chance he embraces her quickly and they make passionate love.

When they are finished he asks her, "What was that about?"

She replies, "The egg timer was broken."

A Night Out On The Town

Category: And that's when the fight started...
Published: 28 January 2015
Hits: 3082

When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace expensive...

...so, I took her to a gas station.

And that's when the fight started...

Sounds Like Spring Break

Category: Dick Jokes
Published: 27 January 2015
Hits: 2950

A brunette tells her blonde sister "Last night I slept with a Brazilian."

The blonde sister replies "I thought I was the slut! How many is a Brazilian?"

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Don't Miss These Jokes!

Be Nice Or You Won't Get Any

Little Johnny's walking along with his father when he sees a butterfly. He grabs it, throws it on the ground,and stomps on it. His father says, "Son, that was unnecessary violence. You may not have any butter for a month."

They walk a little further and Little Johnny sees a honey bee. He grabs it, throws it on the ground, and stomps on it. His father says, "Once again, son, unnecessary violence. You may not have any honey for a month."

That night, Little Johnny's having dinner with his mom and dad when a cockroach goes running across the table. His mother knocks it off the table and stomps on it. Little Johnny looks at his dad and says, "Well, Pop, are you gonna tell her, or should I?"

Talent From Top To Bottom

What do you call a guy who can sit on an ice cream cone and tell you the flavor?

A smartass!

Always Important To Match

A blonde walks up to a guy in a blue bathing suit and says, "Did you know your eyes match your swim trunks?"

He says, "Why? Are my eyes bulging?"

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