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Religious Instruction

Category: Just Plain Funny
Published: 28 May 2017
Hits: 2385
Teacher: "What do you know about the Resurrection?"
 
Johnny: "If it lasts more than 4 hrs call your doctor."

Normal Reaction

Category: Dick Jokes
Published: 27 May 2017
Hits: 2506

I love a massage. But the other day they sent in a man, which for me is a little weird... know what I mean?

Anyway, at one point I finally had to ask, 'Is it normal to get an erection?' He says, 'Sure.' So I told him, "OK fine, but can you get it out of my face?"

See What I Mean?

Category: Just Plain Funny
Published: 26 May 2017
Hits: 2657

Why was the nearsighted fly starving?

He couldn't see shit.

More Than Just Manners

Category: And that's when the fight started...
Published: 25 May 2017
Hits: 2993

My wife was complaining I fart too much, so she ripped a big one right back at me. I asked her, "Honey, you never did that when we were dating. How come?"

She said, "'Cause I didn't get an asshole till we were married."

And that's when the fight started...

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Don't Miss These Jokes!

Leaky Pipes

Old guy calls a plumber. "There's a leak over my kitchen table."

The plumber asks him "When did you first notice it?"

"After it took me two hours to finish my soup last night."

Thanksgiving Has A Whole New Meaning

One day, Little Johnny overheard his parents fighting. Later, he asked what "bitch" and "bastard" mean. They explained that they mean "lady" and "gentleman."

The next day, he overheard his parents having sex. He later asked what "penis" and "vagina" mean. His parents explained that they refer to "hats" and "coats."

At supper the next day, Little Johnny's mom cut her finger in the kitchen and yelled, "Oh f**k!" Little Johnny asked what that meant, and she said it means "cut."

A week later, guests arrive for Thanksgiving dinner. Little Johnny welcomes them at the door, saying, "Hello bitches and bastards! Hurry up with your penises and vaginas -- we can't wait to f**k the turkey!"

You Know You've Done It

Women are like parking spots. With all the good ones taken & nobody looking, you stick it in a disabled one.

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