A laugh a day. It's not hard. Seriously.

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Every Frickin' Joke

Religious Instruction

Category: Just Plain Funny
Hits: 2439
Teacher: "What do you know about the Resurrection?"
 
Johnny: "If it lasts more than 4 hrs call your doctor."

Normal Reaction

Category: Dick Jokes
Hits: 2552

I love a massage. But the other day they sent in a man, which for me is a little weird... know what I mean?

Anyway, at one point I finally had to ask, 'Is it normal to get an erection?' He says, 'Sure.' So I told him, "OK fine, but can you get it out of my face?"

See What I Mean?

Category: Just Plain Funny
Hits: 2712

Why was the nearsighted fly starving?

He couldn't see shit.

More Than Just Manners

Category: And that's when the fight started...
Hits: 3050

My wife was complaining I fart too much, so she ripped a big one right back at me. I asked her, "Honey, you never did that when we were dating. How come?"

She said, "'Cause I didn't get an asshole till we were married."

And that's when the fight started...

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Don't Miss These Jokes!

Better Than A Gold Watch

It was the local mailman's last day on the job after 35 years delivering mail in the same neighborhood. When he arrived at the first house on his route, he was greeted by the entire household who congratulated him and sent him on his way with a gift envelope full of cash. At the second house, they presented him with a box of fine cigars. The folks at the third house handed him a collection of the best fishing lures.

At the fourth house, he was met at the door by a strikingly beautiful blonde woman in skimpy lingerie. She took him by the hand, led him upstairs to the bedroom and proceeded to fuck his brains out. When he had enough, they went downstairs and she fixed him a gigantic breakfast: eggs, potatoes, ham, sausage, waffles, and fresh-squeezed orange juice. When he was truly satisfied, she poured him one last cup of coffee. As she was pouring, he noticed a dollar bill sticking out from under the saucer. "All this was just too wonderful for words" he said. "But what's the dollar for?"

"Well," she said, "Last night, I told my husband that today would be your last day, and that we should do something special for you. I asked him what to give you, and he said, 'Screw him. Give him a dollar.' The breakfast was my idea."

Another Problem To Solve

Hired a 19 year-old Danish girl with huge tits to babysit.

Now where the fuck am I going to get some kids?

More Cushion For The Pushin'

How do you get a really fat girl into your bed?

Piece of cake.