Why was the nearsighted fly starving?
He couldn't see shit.
A female officer arrests a drunk. She warns him: "Anything you say can and will be held against you."
So he shouts back: "Tits"
My son gets behind the wheel of the car to take his first driving lesson. As mom gets in the passenger side he rolls down the window and asks: "Does this car have passenger side air bags?"
I said, "It does now."
And that's when the fight started...
What makes a man think about a dinner by candlelight?
A power failure.
