Why was the nearsighted fly starving?
He couldn't see shit.
Susie is 16. She comes home at 2 in the morning, with her mom waiting up mad as hell.
She says "Mom, I was with Johnny, I love him." Her mother says, "It's not love, it's infatuation."
Susie says, "But I blew him and then he fucked me in the ass."
Her mother says, "That's infatuation. When he fucks you in the ass and then you blow him... that's love."
How do you get a nun pregnant?
Dress her up as an altar boy.
Two guys were in a bar. The first one said: "I can't break my wife of the habit of staying up until 5 in the morning."
"What is she doing?", his buddy asks.
"Waiting for me to get home."
