Doesn't Always Take Two

What does a woman's asshole do when she has an orgasm?

He's probably home watching football or something.

My wife came out of the shower, winked at me and said, "I shaved my pussy! You know what that means?"

I said, "Yeah the fucking drain is clogged again."

And that's when the fight started...

How do you know if a hippie's been staying at your house?

He's still there.

What's the difference between your paycheck and your dick?

You don't have to beg your wife to blow your paycheck!