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The Dick Joke
High art... from a low place.

Going Down?

Created: 25 January 2017
Hits: 2433

I think I got beat up pretty bad last night. I remember getting on the elevator at my office and running into this gorgeous secretary with big tits. I couldn't help staring at her while the elevator door closed, but didn't start up. She said: "Would you please press one?"

So I did. I don't remember much after that...

Outpatient Surgery

Created: 21 January 2017
Hits: 2128

I had to make a visit to my doctor yesterday to get a mole removed from my dick.

From now on I'm going to stick to sheep.

Make A Wish

Created: 19 January 2017
Hits: 2413

A guy was fishing when he caught a magical crocodile. The crocodile spoke: "I am a magical crocodile. If you let me go I will grant you any wish you desire."

The man said, "Okay. I wish my balls could touch the ground."

So the crocodile bit his legs off.

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Don't Miss These Jokes!

Better To Keep Your Mouth Shut

One day two boys were walking through the woods when they came upon some rabbit shit. The first boy asked his friend: "What's that?"

"'They're smart pills," his friend told him. "Eat one and it'll make you smarter." So the boy popped one in his mouth and said: "Yech. This tastes like shit."

"See," said his friend, "you're getting smarter already."

A Lot On The Side

How can you tell when your girlfriend's getting really fat?

You start asking your wife for sex.

I Love Bird Watching

What species of bird is known to give the best head?

The swallow!

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