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The Dick Joke
High art... from a low place.

Going Down?

Created: 25 January 2017
Hits: 2822

I think I got beat up pretty bad last night. I remember getting on the elevator at my office and running into this gorgeous secretary with big tits. I couldn't help staring at her while the elevator door closed, but didn't start up. She said: "Would you please press one?"

So I did. I don't remember much after that...

Outpatient Surgery

Created: 21 January 2017
Hits: 2518

I had to make a visit to my doctor yesterday to get a mole removed from my dick.

From now on I'm going to stick to sheep.

Make A Wish

Created: 19 January 2017
Hits: 2849

A guy was fishing when he caught a magical crocodile. The crocodile spoke: "I am a magical crocodile. If you let me go I will grant you any wish you desire."

The man said, "Okay. I wish my balls could touch the ground."

So the crocodile bit his legs off.

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Don't Miss These Jokes!

A Lot On The Side

How can you tell when your girlfriend's getting really fat?

You start asking your wife for sex.

Three's A Crowd

Bad things come in three's. Always in three's.

The other day I was screwing my girlfriend while her husband was on a business trip. First she said three words: "Is it in?"

Then she followed that with: "Are you done?"

And finally I heard the front door open and a man's voice shout out: "Honey, I'm home!"

Street Accounting

Little Johnny is always being teased by the neighborhood toughs for being stupid. Their favorite joke is to offer Johnny his choice between a nickel and a dime. Little Johnny always takes the nickel, causing no amount of snickering and glee among the bullies.

One day, after Johnny takes the nickel, nice Mr. Johnson pulls him aside and says, "Johnny, those boys are making fun of you. Don't you know that a dime is worth more than a nickel, even though the nickel is bigger?"

Johnny grins and says, "Well, if I took the dime, they'd probably stop. Right now I'm up more than twenty bucks on those mooks!"

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